Stumbling on a boob-craving dwarf and liking it
Here’s the problem: I can’t convince someone that I’m worth anything without being on a stage with my guitars. I walk into a bar or lounge or anyplace that books gigs, and I tell some booking agent what I do, and the booking agent writes me down to be considered for an audition. So far, that’s been the end of the process. I never hear back from them, and I move on to the next place. These places already have a relationship with hundreds, if not thousands, of artists, and they really don’t need anyone new. They have seen it all, so there’s no reason to ‘discover’ anyone. The music business is an overflowing toilet of artists.
Today, I got a call. A little bar-slash-burlesque theatre on the Lower East Side wants me to come and play one of my songs for their general manager, and probably a bunch of other people, to add some new faces to their line-up as they prepare for their obligatory holiday shows. This is what I’ve been waiting for. A chance to let my music speak for itself is exactly what I need, because I have an extremely hard time speaking for it on my own. I tend to ramble, and at the same time, I try not to say too much. I don’t want to give anything away.
So now I’m faced with a new problem: What song do I play? Most of my music is a little too dramatic for a night club. This place tends to focus on the weird, the sexy, the funny, and the weird but sexy and funny side of entertainment. Dwarves chasing around topless dancers, homosexual acrobatics, and beat-boxing hobos are just a small slice of what I saw on my first visit. I could go strictly instrumental in the hopes that my musicianship alone will get me the gig, or I could try to write something ironic. My manager isn’t answering his cellphone, and I haven’t seen him in a week. I refuse to ask my roommate for advice on this, since he always seems so disinterested in everything I do.
The audition is in two days. That’s enough time for me, as long as I lock myself in my room and just write. I might have to turn off the computer though. I just got Stumble, and have reached a level of addiction I never dreamed possible.
